Systematic
by Asviloka
Summary: There is a reason the Slytherins always win the house cup, a method behind the facade that makes the other houses hate them so. Oneshot.


"Everyone knows that the Headmaster will just give out extra points at the last minute," the prefect said, shrugging. "It doesn't matter if you do well, or break rules. All you need to do is find something suitably heroic to do, preferably within a month of term ending, and your house wins. Simple."

"That seems to undermine the whole system," the first-year protested. "What's the point?"

"To win, obviously. The system trains us to look for our own chances to be heroes, not to sit complacently by and do what we're told. Don't you see? There's a _reason_ Slytherin house has won so many years in a row. We understand the truth behind the rules, and that's how we've come out on top every time."

"But, there can't _really_ be that many opportunities for heroism."

The older boy smiled. "You don't understand. Heroism can be manufactured with the greatest of ease. Watch us carefully, you'll catch on. We all have our roles to play, our parts to rehearse. By the end of the term, there will be so much 'growth' and 'change' and 'progress' that the Headmaster will have no choice but to award the House Cup to us again. You, for instance, will spend the next year and a half being a right terror to those outside Slytherin."

"I? What? I don't want—"

"Wait, listen carefully. We have a reputation, and a plan. No one outside our house knows this fully. You must swear to not reveal the truth to any but another Slytherin. Understand?"

The first year nodded.

"Do you so swear?"

"I promise," said the younger boy.

"First years who are sorted into Slytherin have a disturbing tendency to be self-centered arrogant fools, who care more about bullying other houses and breaking rules for the thrill of it than doing well academically."

"Not me, I'm—"

"Shh, listen. That's what _happens_. You especially. This has two purposes. One, it allows younger students the chance to play the villain in a safe environment, and it gives older students the chance to _teach them better_."

"I don't understand," said the first year. "I don't want to play at being a villain."

"But you _do_ , deep down, we all want to try exerting power and control over others. We let first years run rampant, encourage it. The older you are, the more points your misbehavior would cost. Trust me, we Slytherins have had years to develop the perfect methods of exploiting the system."

"But—"

"No but. You _will_ spend the next year and a half playing your part. You'll push around Hufflepuffs, insult Gryffindors, and look down on Ravenclaws for all their superior academic achievements. You will not show any remorse, any inclination to compassion. This is very important. Showing weakness is unacceptable."

"But I'm not interested in—"

"Then you'll join someone who is, as backup. Stand behind them, sneer at their enemies, add ' _yeah_ ,' or ' _you tell 'em_ ' when appropriate. When in house, you will behave responsibly like everyone else. We have a DADA supplemental class that you _will_ attend, held here Sunday mornings. Our focus is on target awareness and jinxes that can delay or irritate opponents without doing lasting harm, as well as determining the informal in-house dueling rank. It is that rank that determines your role in the following year, so work hard."

The first year looked very confused. "But, I plan to be the next Minister of Magic. Who would vote for me if I run around bullying and jinxing people?"

"No one cares what you do in school until your fifth year at least. We're _children_ , we can get away with almost anything. But that's why it's primarily first and second years playing the villain house, while older years just go about their business. The lowest ranked will keep up the act, of course. It wouldn't do to have our system become _too_ obvious. Which is why, if you plan on being a _hero_ and not a bystander, you should focus on your in-house rank."

"What if I don't play along?"

The older boy laughed. "You would make enemies of your entire house. And because of our _excellent_ record of following through on the plan I've just outlined to you, you are already _by default_ the enemy of the other houses. If you go out to them alone, try to befriend them, you'll get as good as we give. If not more. You don't understand just how much resentment Slytherin has accumulated from the other houses. They think that we are winning the cup through _unfair_ means. They think our head of house is awarding points to us without reason. He isn't."

"But they said he took points from a Gryffindor boy for sneezing during class, and awarded Slytherin points for sitting in straight rows! That's _blatant_ favouritism."

"It would seem so. Truly, our head watches everything. He has restricted his point changes to his own classroom so that he has a reputation for unfairness instead of being meddlesome, but every point he gives or deducts was _deserved_. The reasons he gives are blatant fabrications, true, but the actual score is _completely legitimate_. Why do you think the headmaster hasn't thrown him out?"

The first year didn't know what to say. He just stared at the older boy.

"Your performance in the great hall today was mediocre. Therefore, you'll be placed somewhere in the middle of the first years. I'd suggest you follow Draco Malfoy around and look intimidating. Goyle is a T-rank for sure, he's going to be stuck in the villain track forever, but I think most of this years' newcomers have better potential. For now, just watch and learn. If you work hard, your redemption arc will be a smashing success."

"I think I should get some sleep," the first year said. "This is all. . ."

The older boy smiled. "Don't worry, you'll catch on. Just follow our lead."

The dazed-looking younger student headed for the bedrooms, where Draco had already staked out his superiority and would help push him into proper shape.

The prefect sighed wearily as he finally sat down in a heavily cushioned chair by the fireplace. Then he smiled and absently ran his finger over the smooth green badge of his house. Slytherin, house of the cunning and ambitious.

"This headmaster puts great store by love and redemption," he whispered aloud. "So then, thus shall we be."


End file.
